Because love is an emotion, many of us think that love will just carry romance along through its own momentum. This is a tragic misconception.
Here’s why: love is an emotion, and emotions are the result of automatic, subconscious appraisals. We experience many emotions all day long and they come and go depending on our everyday experiences. We can be happy, sad, disappointed, resentful, grateful, satisfied, angry, passionate, proud, guilty, anxious, confident, jealous, admiring etc. all in the same day and even more than once in the same day.
Lovers have good times and bad times. But what carries the relationship through long term—not over just days or weeks but over many years?
The answer is: the hard work of thinking. In fact, we believe that making a relationship work long-range, that is, achieving enduring happiness, requires as much hard thinking as having a successful career.
Here are ten tips to make love last by showing that you truly value your partner
Does this seem like a lot of work? Well, it is. And the work in never ending. You need to work at it every day. People grow and change and, if you do not grow and change together, you grow apart.
If your romantic relationship is important to you, you must work to preserve it. If you do the work, you will find that your closeness and intimacy will actually increase over time rather than fading away as it does if you reply solely on emotion.
Copyright © 2011 Edwin A. Locke