The Rational Basis® of Happiness Podcast

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Female 1:         He came back with the same lies. The same silly phrases.

Female 2:         What are you saying?

Female 1:         He has grown greedier with the years. The first time he only wanted my money. Now he wants my love too. Well, he came to the wrong house and he came twice. I shall see that he never comes a third time. 

Dr. Kenner:      We’ve talked about judging other people. With me I have Dr. Andy Bernstein, my resident philosopher. He’s got a PhD in philosophy. He teaches at Pace University. And he’s given addresses all over the country including at Harvard and Stanford and RPI and he’s written countless articles, several cliff notes and a novel, The Heart of a Pagan. With me today, we’re going to discuss how do you judge other people? So many times we’re told, “Don’t judge other people. Be nice.” Joey might come in and say, “I don’t like what Tommy did to me. He’s mean.” And mommy might say, “Joey, you know it’s not nice to say mean things about people. Tommy is a very nice friend. You sit back and don’t ever say anything negative about people. Good people only say nice things about people.” With me today, again to discuss this, is Dr. Andy Bernstein. Welcome to the show again Andy.

Dr. Bernstein:  Good to be back, Ellen.

Dr. Kenner:      Tell me, what is the motive? My guess is there are a range of motives behind why people say, “Don’t judge.” Like the mother in that case, who is telling her son, “Don’t say mean things. It’s not nice. Good people only say nice things about other people.”

Dr. Bernstein:  Right. I think in large part, I think this falls in your field, not in mine. I think in probably all of those cases, there’s always a psychological motive. I think there’s a moral/philosophical one too, but I think psychological motive is always the person himself or herself feels terribly guilty inside about God knows what and is terrified of being judged himself. He’s afraid to judge himself because he’s afraid he’s going to wind up falling short of his own moral standards and consequently he’s terrified of other people judging him. Necessarily then, he wants to avoid moral judgment at all costs and so utters this kind of nonsense that we shouldn’t judge other people even though our lives very clearly depend on our willingness to judge other people’s characters and their psychological states.

Dr. Kenner:      You know, I’m thinking, we judge everything. You go into a restaurant, you judge the food. You go shopping for clothes and you judge whether the dress looks right on you or if it hangs funny on you, whether the shoes fit or not, whether you like the car or not – we’re constantly judging things. When it comes to people, there’s a whole I want to say movement, not a coordinated movement, but there’s a whole mentality or a mindset that people can get into that says, “Well, you know, I just don’t think about that in him. I don’t like it in him, but I don’t want to look too deeply.” Who tells us not to judge people?

Dr. Bernstein:  There is a coordinated movement here, it’s called Christianity, or religion more broadly. It’s not just Christianity. But the phrase of “judge not and be not judged.” I think the belief here comes from the religious belief in original sin, that man is a sinful being, and consequently, since we’re all equally sinful, not one of us is morally pure enough to be able to be a judge.

Dr. Kenner:      To cast the first stone.

Dr. Bernstein:  Yes. I think, again, that philosophy and that moral creed has psychological consequences. I think people who have accepted the idea of their own sin, probably were brought up in that kind of a family. People that accept that have a chronic sense of moral inadequacy and a chronic sense of self loathing and guilt and they’re terrified of being judged, so they preach this philosophy of not judging. I just want to stress, this is the realization that our lives depend on judging. I think people can see at a commonsense level they have to judge other people. They cannot fail, must not fail to distinguish between the honest and dishonest, between the peaceful and the violent, between the rational and irrational. Their very lives depend on judging between those people. Who they connect with as friends or lovers and who they reject.

Dr. Kenner:      So it’s very tragic, if you’ve been brought up to believe that you’re a sinner from the get go, before you even face any choices in your life, before you make any decisions or exercise your volition, your free will, if you’re told that you’re a sinner – you’re bad to begin with – and that all you can do is climb out of the hole but never enjoy the sunlight, you just get to the edge of the hole, then it feels like you’re afraid to judge. You’re afraid to cast any blame because you’re carrying around what I know Ayn Rand called unearned guilt. It’s guilt that you never should have held. 

Dr. Bernstein:  Yes. That deep belief in one’s own sinfulness, one’s own unworthiness. It makes a person terrified of being judged and then the philosophy that we shouldn’t judge becomes attractive because that means if we shouldn’t judge, it means above all, other people shouldn’t judge me.

Dr. Kenner:      And if I’m a sinner, based on whatever wrong standards there are, I’ve been spoon-fed from birth, then that’s not fair. Because I’m tragically then trapped. The alternative to that, I’d like to spend a few moments on that, Andy. What would be an alternative view? Not that you’re born with original sin, but what would the alternative that would make judgment a joy? I even had a segment in a recent course I gave, The Joy of Judging.

Dr. Bernstein:  I like that title. I think the alternative view is the realization that we come into this world not trailing any supernatural legacy. We’re not bringing in some sinful element from our ancestors thousands of years ago. We come into this world neither good nor evil. We come into this world with the capacity to make choices, with the faculty of free will. Our character is based on what kind of choices we make. For instance, if you're a kid going to school and you study hard and you get knowledge and earn good grades, you should be proud. You’ve done good. If you cheat, then you’ve done bad.

Dr. Kenner:      So you judge yourself?

Dr. Bernstein:  Yes. I mean, people have their own character in their hands. I love Ayn Rand’s line on this that man is a being of self-mad soul. Soul here being moral character. Man is a being of self-made moral character. So we’re not evil by nature, nor are we good by nature. The choices we make determine our character, so we shouldn’t be afraid of judging. If we do good, then we should be proud. If we do bad, we don’t have to beat ourselves up over it, just change. Get better. Do it better next time.

Dr. Kenner:      So if you’re in this swamp of always feeling guilty, always feeling like you’re a sinner and you’ve been taught that since you were a young child, the alternative would be to at least look at the possibility that maybe you’re not a sinner and never were in the sense of original sin? And that you can judge yourself on the good choices you’ve made and bad choices. If you’ve made a preponderance of good choices and some bad ones that you’re cleaning up, then you can really value yourself and feel a sense of earned pride, of very good character. You’ve made yourself into a responsible person. Maybe you have a decent job that you enjoy, good hobbies, good friends. If you’ve run your life into the ground, then it’s going to be harder to pull yourself out of it, but you still can try to make amends and try to repair your life.

Dr. Bernstein:  Yes. Also, I would point out that I’m certainly a sinner, but I enjoy my sins. I don’t worry about that.

Dr. Kenner:      What are your sins?

Dr. Bernstein:  Well, they’re probably x-rated and I shouldn’t go into them on the air! But I think, seriously, what you’re stating here is a very important point, and that people don’t realize very often that morality is their best friend. They look at it as their enemy, mostly because morality is pushed at them.

Dr. Kenner:      They’ve had the Judeo-Christian morality and the alternative is a rational morality, one that’s based on facts, one that has commonsense. Listen, I want to thank you so much for being with us again today. And I hope to have you again.

Dr. Bernstein:  Great to be here. Maybe next time we can discuss my sins.

Dr. Kenner:      Would love to do that! I’m Dr. Ellen Kenner. The show is The Rational Basis of Happiness. And if you want more information on Ayn Rand, who has a rational moral code, you can go to my website, DrKenner.com or AynRand.org.