The Rational Basis® of Happiness Podcast

(this is raw unedited text, computer transcribed directly from the audio)

Connie, you're dealing with procrastination.

Yes, I have. It's procrastination. And it seems like it's gotten worse. I was depressed a few years ago. And that took a toll on everything. Everything got behind. And now I'm starting to I don't know, I'm not depressed anymore. I don't feel depressed. And but it's taking a long time to do anything. I mean, I started painting my kitchen, it's about halfway painted.

When did you start to want to lose weight?

I haven't lost weight yet. So things like that. Yeah,

what methods are you using to, let's say lose weight?

Well, I just think a lot about it. And I do a lot of research. I mean, I know, I know what I need to do. Let's put it that way. I mean, I don't want to use pills or for gimmicks get any sort of surgery. But how much do you weigh? I realized I weighed two over 200 pounds.

Oh, so it's a major problem. Yeah, it's a health problem, too. How old? Are you? I'm 4242. And what would you like to weigh? I would like to weigh 141 40. And when, what do you want to see? And when did you last weigh that?

I last weighed that, just before I had my first child.

How many years ago?

Oh, actually, I got really close to it. After my second, this, this goes back a good 10 years,

10 years. So you've been putting on weight and maintaining the 200 mark.

Now, not not throughout the whole time. It's been with my last child that it's gone over 200. I mean, before that it was just I had about 2030 pounds to lose and between my first and second child, which after I had miscarriages and everything, I did lose a lot of weight and I got close to the 140 mark.

Okay, I want you to remember what that feeling feels like when you're moving towards your goal. And now I want you to have paper and pencil or pen and pencil and a pen and paper. What I'd like you to do is just to take some notes, because what happens when any of us set goals, I want to lose weight. I want to exercise more. I want to meet a romantic partner, I want to change jobs. I want to go back to school. What typically happens is there is an initial huge resistance. It feels overwhelming. You know, you're 200 pounds. How the heck are you ever going to lose 50 pounds? Do you know how many quarter pounders that is if you went to McDonald's, I mean it. It feels enormous. It feels way too big to accomplish. And so your subconscious says, okay, honey, you gotta be kidding me. Like, we're gonna do this together? No way. Eat the cake. usually eat a little more cake after that, right? So we're initially in a stage of where we're not thinking about it, where we just say, I can't change that said it's just me. This is the way I'm always I've always been it's back to square one again. Who cares? What's the use? Everyone should love me the way I am? With a PS, I don't like myself the way I am. I say that to people, right? Then the next stage is that it starts to irk you. That's the stage you're in. Now that's the thinking stage. And you do collect a lot of information. It's a period when you gather information, and you want to get real specific in the type of information you gather. How do I lose weight? Do I need to cut out lunches? Do I need to go to a nutritionist and get very good guidance? So I'm not just on some crazy diet? You know, the trendy diet of diet Doozer do I need to exercise more? What would I enjoy doing? Well, I should go to a spinning class. Wait a minute, I hate spinning and my knees hurt. So then what would you be willing to do? What would feel good? Well, I'd be embarrassed walking into the gym. I'm too fat. Everyone will laugh at me. Yeah, you gotta be able to challenge some of those thoughts. But you're in the thinking stage, which congratulations to you. Many people make the mistake of just staying in the thinking stage. They don't progress. What's the next stage? Any idea?

Well, actually to do something, to do something.

But if I told you can you do my shopping for me today? And you say you were going to the market? And you said, Sure, Allen. And then I said, Okay, goodbye, and I hung up. Now, when you get to the market, what are you getting me?

I don't know.

Because I didn't ask you don't know what do you need? You need specifics, you need details. So write those words down. Unless you have an action plan, write that down, you will not be able to give your subconscious the guidance, the guidance that needs to help you make the change, you want losing the weight or painting. So you say I'm going to paint tomorrow at 7am I'm waking up first thing in the morning or when I come back from work. I'm going to spend a half hour painting. Yeah, that's specific. I'm going to call a gym tonight. I'm going to call my nutritionist I'll call my doctor today, get a nutritionist on board. And I'm going to throw out all the potato chips. I mean, throw them out, crush them in the trash masher.

Yes. You know, I've gotten to that point, like twice before in the last two years. Okay, but I start and, and I know what I have to do. I have to write things down. And I know what's effective. But it's sort of like a self self sabotage.

How do you do that? Because we only have a minute left, tell me how you sabotage.

I sabotage by I know what I have. I have to write things down. In order for me to lose weight effectively, I have to write it down. And then I don't so I start guessing what I need. What do you say to yourself to not have to write it down?

I just I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna get to it. But I can add it up in my head. Okay,

well, like a progression, what you need to do is you need to red flag that the minute you say I can do it later, or I can do it in my head. That is BS. You need to be able to have your mind laugh at that and say, No, write it down. Now. You need to be able to take whatever those little loopholes are. They're called rationalizations or permission giving beliefs. We give ourselves permission to do the bad behavior. You need to identify each and every one of those holes in the dam and plug them up. Because you want to be happy. You want to be 150 pounds or 140 pounds, right? I'm gonna recommend, I'm gonna recommend a book. It's called changing for good. Okay, it's at my website, DrKenner.com. And the first off thought there are three authors pro Chaska Norcross and D Clemente. It's a fabulous book and it should help you a lot. And I wish you a lot of success. It when you lose the weight. I would love to hear from you when you get under 200.

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And here's a little more from Dr. Kenner.

My show is the rational basis of happiness. And that means that you want to love your life, you want to figure out what are the key thinking methods that make you feel an inner peace. And I don't mean that in the New Age sense in the tacky sense. But I mean, in a grounded sense and a reality based sense that this is your life. It's your only life. You want to make the most of it and you want to figure out what psychological barriers personally stand in the way of your own happiness. I know other people can make your life difficult, but many times we're our own worst problem.

For more Dr. Kenner podcasts, go to Dr. kenner.com. And please listen to this ad.

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